Chances are pretty good you've heard this conversation between "A" and "B" before in your native language, and you may recognize the joke right away. Not really a thigh-slapper, this. More of a sad commentary on the state of human empathy. 

<h3>Versatile 只 [pinyin]zhi3[/pinyin]</h3>
The character 只 might throw you for a bit of a loop in this passage. You'll see it used twice, but the definitions are different each time. 

In the first sentence, we see 只 used as a measure word which is used, among other things, for certain four-legged animals, most notably cats, dogs and birds. So "一只大老虎" simply means "a large tiger". (Don't known what a measure word is? <a href="http://devenv.chinesereadingpractice.com/2017/01/chinese-grammar-deep-dive-whats-a-measure-word/" target="_blank">Read this.</a>)

In the last sentence, we see 只 again, but this time it means "only / merely". In this case, it's pared with 要 [pinyin]yao4[/pinyin], which also has several meanings. 要 can mean "to want", as in "我要出去" ("I want to go out"), and that's usually the first definition of 要 that we learn as beginners. But here, it means "must / have to / need to". So 只要 means "...only have to..." or "... merely need to ..." . 

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1) 两个人在森林里，遇到了一只大老虎。
2) A就赶紧从背后取下一双更轻便的运动鞋换上。
3) B急死了，骂道：“你干嘛呢?再换鞋也跑不过老虎啊！”
4) A说：“我只要跑得比你快就好了。”  

See the <a href="http://tieba.baidu.com/p/1831342688" target="_blank">source</a>.

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1) Two people in the forest happened upon a large tiger.
2) "A" quickly pulled a pair of better running shoes from his backpack and put them on. 
3) "B" was frantic, and yelled: "What are you doing? Change shoes all you want but you can't outrun a tiger!" 
4) "A" said: "I only have to outrun you."
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